Today I feel as though as I'm failing miserably at what my goal was to make of myself. I keep telling myself God's plans are better than mine and all of my faith is in Him, but I think He surely wants me to be all that I can be...and I feel like I'm just not measuring up. Nothing is going as planned...but I'm going with the flow.
LJ woke up around 1:30 am last night crying with his ear hurting. No fever...just an ear ache. I gave him ibuprophen but the poor baby kept asking when it would stop hurting...so around 2:30 I gave him a half of a melatonin to help him rest. So I was exhausted when it was time to wake up. I pushed snooze I have no idea how many times and before I finally got him up. He got into the shower, no problem, but then when he was getting dressed he told me his throat was hurting too. I took that opportunity to put him back to bed and crawl back in too. Both kids and I slept another 3 hours before we finally got up and got ready to go into town to drop E off at MDO and head to the doctor's office. My poor boy tested positive for strep, has a sinus infection and an ear infection. After the doctor it was time to go back and pick E up. I had so much I needed and wanted to do...but it is near impossible to take care of business with both kiddos in tow.
We came home and I let the kids destroy the living room while I sat on the web hunting down some new recipes.
Miss E had dance tonight, but after that I FINALLY got to go to the grocery store, which has been on my to do list since the weekend. Now...I'm finally unwinding (way later than I want) and making my plans for tomorrow. We shall see what happens...
I complained a little to hubby tonight about how things just weren't going my way and how much I still had left to do before I go to bed, but then I got to thinking about it...my goal of being a better me didn't include talking about how much I do or need to do or don't want to do. It didn't include complaining about any of it. What I want and need is a better attitude to deal with the things that get thrown my way. When I take on the attitude I've had today it only makes me weak and a target for satan. I want to sign off tonight with some lyrics from one my favorite songs right now by Plumb.
Until tomorrow...
Well everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got ta wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
'Cause oh I get so tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this?"
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh, I need you
God, I need you now.
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