Coming to terms

Wow...I'm so sorry to those of you who were enjoying my blog...let me explain.

I think I went into the new year with all these goals expecting it to just automatically all change and fall into place. I slowly but surely faced the reality that it was harder than that. I got really bogged down...bogged down into feeling like I was failing. We've talked about it in ladies group before, which really made me feel better, but we all go through these "pits." Well, I slipped into a pit. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't want to take care of my kids, I didn't want to clean my house, I just wanted to stay in bed and cover up my head. After a few good conversations with my best friend, a little bit of re-connecting with my rock (my hubby), and lots of nights in prayer, I climbed myself right up outta there! Hallelujah! I hate that feeling...knowing how you're acting, and knowing it's affecting others, really wanting to fix it, but not really knowing how to. It kind of just has to run it's course and go away.

Then just this weekend, two girls from church asked me why I hadn't been blogging. It made me feel really good to know I actually had readers, but what they said about the blog made me feel even better. They said it was good to know they weren't the only ones who had days like that. They made a connection...we connected even though I had no idea they were even interested in the blog...I LOVE IT!!! We are real moms, real wives, real Christians, real people with real problems and if we would all just admit it, face it, and talk about it to each other we could probably move away from those pits a little easier. For example, a couple of weeks ago I was standing in church during praise and worship and realized I was sucking in my stomach. Why? I was surrounded by people who are my FAMILY. We all love each other...why did I feel like I had to make myself appear differently that I really am? I watched an episode of Katie the other night and they were talking about loving ourselves for who we are. Sure we can wear make up to enhance our beauty, but do we really need to be all painted up to feel good about ourselves? And as far as weight loss goes, sure if you are at an unhealthy weight, diet and exercise is suggested, but not everyone is a size 2, so stop trying to be.

So, this blog may take a slight turn. I think I started out with such high expectations I really got down when I was turning into the perfect woman, mother, wive, Christian, friend, etc, overnight. Organization can happen, but it takes time, and everyone's abilities are different and we should be. God made us to be us. I think when I discussed the women I admired I was comparing myself to them and we can't do that. We can all strive to be better, but not just like others...we can only be the best WE can be and God loves us that way, our children love us that way, our husbands love us that way, and our friends love us that way. So, I will continue to blog, I will continue to work hard, and I will continue to talk about my days, good or bad, to you ladies...sometimes to entertain, sometimes to make you cry, and sometimes just to connect to someone and know that you are not alone in those struggles you face everyday, whether you are a stay at home mom, a school teacher, a student, or a nurse. We all need each other and I love you!

Until tomorrow!!!
Terra