What a day...

So, I woke up this morning sicker than I was yesterday. I help get LJ ready for school and then hubby had a dentist appointment and Miss E decided to wake up early, so I called for reinforcement...my mom came and played with her until hubby could get home so I could get some rest. When he got home he brought lunch and we all sat down and ate. Then I got Miss E ready to go town with daddy to pick up my prescription the doctor so kindly called in for me, get new tires on his truck, pick up sweet LJ from school, and go watch Ash play ball.

I was settling down to take another long nap when our niece texted me that she was coming by to pick up some Scentsy light bulbs. Now...I'm looking pretty rough, so I tell her they will be on the porch and I will be in bed. I'm laying in bed scrolling through facebook when I hear a car door. Automatically I assume it's her and she'll be on her way soon. Well...I never hear her get back into her car...I didn't think much of it. Then I got up to go get some paperwork and the laptop because I knew I needed to place an order today and I thought bed was the best place to do it. I'm wandering all around the living room, kitchen, office, and even out to my car in the garage, not noticing the car sitting in my driveway. On my way back to the bedroom it catches my eye...it's not her car...so I sneak into Miss E's room to get a better peak without being seen. It's a little Kia SUV with the window down a bit, but I couldn't see anyone...so I (being somewhat medicated) still think nothing of it. I assumed she had met a friend here to go to town together with or something like that. I come back to bed. Just a few minutes later she sends me a text asking who the man was in my yard. What?!?! So I sneak back to a hidden window and look out. She's standing there talking to this weirdo in sweat pants, driving a kia. He flashes her an odd shaped badge and tells her he is doing an investigation and needs to talk to...and then points at hubby's patrol car. She tells him he's not home, so he tells her he's just going to wait. Well...she decides it's just too fishy. I tell her I have no idea who he is or what it could be about and to either get in her car and leave as fast as she can, or sneak around to the backyard and I would let her in. I called hubby and he was sitting at the tire place with all four tires and wheels off...so he calls headquarters and they send deputies and troopers my way. By this time and his tone of voice I'm scared to death. He tells me (in a tone I've never heard from my hubby) to get the gun, get it ready and get our niece in the house. "Shoot him if he tries to come in." Oh my...I just don't feel good today, and I really wasn't wanting to have to shoot anyone honey...I'd be looking all crazy on the news and stuff! LOL! Anyway, it wasn't funny at the time. So, hubby also called a neighbor...a big neighbor, and he shows up in his "beast" (that's what he calls it)...it's about a 1990 model suburban (slick) with monster tires on it and a very loud engine. Hahaha...that will scare him I think. Then two deputies, and a patrol car pull in with their lights on...wonder what he thought then...anyway. He tells them he's a private investigator looking into some guys workers' comp case that is going to court in 6 weeks and he's trying to prove it fraudulent. REALLY?!?!? What a freak! Hubby wouldn't have known anything about the guy...all we know is he lives down the road and had back surgery. Dude, you do NOT pull up into a law enforcement officer's drive way in your kia, wearing your sweats, flash a badge at somebody and expect to be taken serious. Good way to get dead!

Later, hubby saw said kia and two deputies pull into a local gas station, so dear hubby pulls in as well and proceeds to tell said moron what a stupid idea that was and...well...basically not to ever do it again.

Whew! It really scared me and made me think. You just never know about people. Which brings up another point I haven't talked about yet in this blog. We want to move. See...where we live is very close to a road...real close...like I don't let my children play in the front yard close. It's a county road, but it is still highly traveled and more than once have suspicious people stopped here just because they see the patrol car. We even had a drunk lady drive through our fence once. Hubby doesn't want me or our children to be victim to some crazy who has it out for cops. When we moved here 5 years ago we said we would only stay a few years and then sell. Well...yeah...we're still here. Then when LJ started school it was really hard on me because we do not live in the school district I want my children to go to school at and there is a waiting list for transfers that is just not getting smaller. So he started at another school that we love, but just don't want him there forever. So, we've been looking for, ideally, land where we can build, but we've also looked at a few houses in the area. Everytime one comes up it seems like that's the one, but then something always happens. I have high hopes and just keep praying, but days like today really try my patience...even hubby said, "See, this is why I'm so ready to move!"

Anyway, I got my prescription and some really good cold and sinus meds and I'm headed to bed. Praying that tomorrow will be a better day...if I'm down much longer all of my hard work will be in vain, hubby just can't keep up! LOL!  I did get in a couple loads of laundry, cleaned up the supper dishes (thank you hubby)  and picked up the kids toys before they went to bed, so it hasn't all fallen apart yet.

Until tomorrow,...

Terra

Mother Nature...really?!?!

Ladies...I'm only bouncing on here for a moment because I guess Mother Nature's mood swings have done me in! I woke up with a horrible head ache, sore throat, stuffy nose and lots of congestion. I tried really hard not to let it get me down. I did a couple of loads of laundry, switched over the dishes, and I even cooked LJ and hubby breakfast before they left this morning!

Miss E was a crazy woman last night and we didn't get much sleep, so she slept late this morning and I could have gotten a lot done in Ash's room but I just couldn't...ugh...so sickly.

We had to run to town in the afternoon for few errands and then church and business meeting tonight...now I'm waiting for Nyquil to do to me what I hear so many say it does to them. I was supposed to place a Scentsy order tonight...but it'll just have to wait.

I guess we all have to have down days right? I'm just relieved hubby is off now until Monday so I can maybe recooperate and keep on trucking!

Until tomorrow...Terra

Stick a fork in me...

I don't know what's gotten into me but I like it and I'm taking advantage of it while it lasts...hopefully from now on...but...we'll see!

Today was another work my hiney off day. More dishes and more laundry...I swear...my children dirty up more clothes in one day than most children do in a week! Lol! And towels...I try everyday to get them to dry off in the bathroom they are in and leave the towel there, but they want to wrap up in the towel and wander off somewhere else before the drop it and leave it. Then by the time I find it I don't know whether it's clean or dirty so I wash it anyway. Hubby got in trouble today about laundry...we have a love seat in our bedroom and usually he puts clothes that he's going to "recycle" on there, but today, I had had enough...I sorted through it and washed it...he had a full load just by himself!

In my handy dandy 2013 planner, it has a place for notes on the opposite page of each week, so I've been writing my menu, goals, and things to do on there. One thing on my goal for this week was the garage. Christmas stuff was all still down off the shelves and there were four...yes four boxes of stuff I had cleaned out of my car the last...I guess four times I cleaned it out. I went through all of those boxes and put things away and guess what...more laundry...yay! Lol!

Miss E and I colored, read books and worked a puzzle...over and over! I really just think she's wanting to spend time at home with her mommy. When LJ got home he played ABC Mouse. I love that...if you haven't checked it our for your kiddos you should. I was getting worried about him with the video games that last few days. He's had an iPod for a while, but he usually only plays on it when we're going somewhere or at a restaurant of something. We have a wii, but he rarely asks to play it. Last year we got an xbox 360 and just recently kind of got into it so they all got xbox games for Christmas this year. He played his Lego Batman game for a little while right after Christmas but then lost interest...well, he went to a birthday party the other day and the little boy had it and had reached level 2. This sparked his interest again and he's been hooked. I have talked to him about doing other things that will make him stronger or smarter but he just said, "I know." So anyway, I was so proud to see him get on abcmouse.com and start checking things off his chore list as soon as he got home!

Hubby cooked deer tonight and I fixed some yummy potoato rounds I found on pinterest. The kids ate great and we were ready for bed early!

Well, I've already got lots on my list for tomorrow and my back is killing me...I'm going to bed and I hope it feels better in the morning...until tomorrow...

Terra

Don't Wanna Jinks It...

Holy cow...I can not believe it was like 75 degrees today...January 28!!! Crazy! Don't get me wrong...I love it, it's just so weird. Since it was so nice today I worked a little outside. We still had a deflated santa, a moving deer, and some lights out in the front yard, so I got out there and took all of that down and put back in the garage. The backyard was a mess...toys everywhere, so E and I got out there and cleaned that all up. Then when LJ got home I was so glad they got to go outside and play for a while before karate.

Speaking of karate, LJ loves going there and I love that he gets the extra excersise. That's why I had put Miss E in dance. She seemed to like it for a while, but here lately it has just become a huge struggle and I leave there wanting to scream. She doesn't do anything she's supposed to be doing and just runs around crazy. I thought she would really get into it because she loved the tap shoes and she does the dance they've been working on at home, but she just won't participate in the class. The last two weeks when it has been time to go she tells me no, so I haven't made her go. I'm wondering if I enroll her in the mommy and me gymnastics class if she'll behave...we did it last year, but she was still pretty small...she's gotten crazier since then!

She also hasn't been wanting to go to MDO. LJ went through a phase like that...I think they get bored. She's the oldest in her class and I just wonder if she can't really play with the other kids in her class. Anyway, I haven't made her go there either because I think she just wants to hang out with me and how can I not let her?!? We've been working on her speech and learning colors and letters, so she's still getting stimulated and we're getting one on one time...I'm thinking maybe we can start working on potty training now too.

Since I've been out of my slump I've really worked my hiney off...even with her here. I've stayed on top of the laundry and dishes, both kids' rooms are clean, my car is clean, my bedroom, and both bathrooms are clean. Ash's room, closet and bathroom are my next project...I've been storing things that need to go to Good Will or consignment in her closet and it has started to get out of control. When everything is caught up though I feel like I can take on projects like that. Just like Friday night...I stayed up all night working in the mudroom, which is also my office. It hasn't been this clean probably since we moved in...5 years ago!  Hubby asked me today if I was on crack! I don't have an explaination of why I have such ups and downs. I know I'm happier when the house is all clean, which in turn means I continue to get more stuff done. Maybe I'm bipolar...I don't know...

LJ used to get allowance and that worked pretty good to get him to help me pick up toys. I put the allowance on hold through December and explained to him all of our money was going toward Christmas presents and he really didn't need to be going to Wal-mart and spending his money on toys during that time anyway. He asked me yesterday when he could get allowance again, so we talked about how he had to work to earn money and tonight we printed out some chore charts. He has several more responsibilities than he used to, but he seemed excited to be doing such big boy jobs. We'll see how it goes!

Now that I made that statement earlier about being bipolar, I'm kind of starting to worry about it...maybe I should read more about it, but I don't feel like my highs and lows go that extreme...

Anyway, I think this is the earliest I've ever blogged and I'm going to take advantage of being done early and get some rest! Until tomorrow...

Terra

Coming to terms

Wow...I'm so sorry to those of you who were enjoying my blog...let me explain.

I think I went into the new year with all these goals expecting it to just automatically all change and fall into place. I slowly but surely faced the reality that it was harder than that. I got really bogged down...bogged down into feeling like I was failing. We've talked about it in ladies group before, which really made me feel better, but we all go through these "pits." Well, I slipped into a pit. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't want to take care of my kids, I didn't want to clean my house, I just wanted to stay in bed and cover up my head. After a few good conversations with my best friend, a little bit of re-connecting with my rock (my hubby), and lots of nights in prayer, I climbed myself right up outta there! Hallelujah! I hate that feeling...knowing how you're acting, and knowing it's affecting others, really wanting to fix it, but not really knowing how to. It kind of just has to run it's course and go away.

Then just this weekend, two girls from church asked me why I hadn't been blogging. It made me feel really good to know I actually had readers, but what they said about the blog made me feel even better. They said it was good to know they weren't the only ones who had days like that. They made a connection...we connected even though I had no idea they were even interested in the blog...I LOVE IT!!! We are real moms, real wives, real Christians, real people with real problems and if we would all just admit it, face it, and talk about it to each other we could probably move away from those pits a little easier. For example, a couple of weeks ago I was standing in church during praise and worship and realized I was sucking in my stomach. Why? I was surrounded by people who are my FAMILY. We all love each other...why did I feel like I had to make myself appear differently that I really am? I watched an episode of Katie the other night and they were talking about loving ourselves for who we are. Sure we can wear make up to enhance our beauty, but do we really need to be all painted up to feel good about ourselves? And as far as weight loss goes, sure if you are at an unhealthy weight, diet and exercise is suggested, but not everyone is a size 2, so stop trying to be.

So, this blog may take a slight turn. I think I started out with such high expectations I really got down when I was turning into the perfect woman, mother, wive, Christian, friend, etc, overnight. Organization can happen, but it takes time, and everyone's abilities are different and we should be. God made us to be us. I think when I discussed the women I admired I was comparing myself to them and we can't do that. We can all strive to be better, but not just like others...we can only be the best WE can be and God loves us that way, our children love us that way, our husbands love us that way, and our friends love us that way. So, I will continue to blog, I will continue to work hard, and I will continue to talk about my days, good or bad, to you ladies...sometimes to entertain, sometimes to make you cry, and sometimes just to connect to someone and know that you are not alone in those struggles you face everyday, whether you are a stay at home mom, a school teacher, a student, or a nurse. We all need each other and I love you!

Until tomorrow!!!
Terra

I'm back

Well...I've been a little MIA on this blog for a few days. I decided I'd better start "blogging" to my husband a little more. We had to have a little sit down and communicate weekend. I find myself lost in my role of mother sometimes I think, and I forget that I'm a wife also. I get so wrapped up in taking care of, picking up after, and chasing these kids that I don't take the time to slow down, love on, and talk to my husband.

I'm feeling a little more back to myself now and I had a few moments, so I figured I'd sit down and type a while. Since I've been away from the computer I got my tree down...yay! I finally got tired of looking at it, and my living room a mess and I didn't want to clean up AROUND it one more time! Now I keep finding little ornaments Miss E has hidden strategically throughout the house...oh well...all the boxes are still in the mudroom...but at least I made a little progress.

I'm still extremely sleepy. I don't know if my body is trying to fight something off, or if I'm just lazy. Lazy I think. But when I went to the OB she suggested having my B12 checked...still haven't heard from lab, but I think I will start taking some just in case. Couldn't hurt.

Also...in the last few days we've started planning a spring break trip. A friend had asked us to go to Universal Studios with her family, and that sounds GREAT...I would love to, but we decided we really shouldn't spend that kind of money that particular time of year. After some brainstorming we decided to go down to Beavers Bend and rent a cabin. We invited that friend and her family, and also my very bestest friend and her family. It is going to be so very fun! Our cabin is beautiful and the kids are going to love it!

Well...I think I'm going to bounce off here for now...do a little laundry switching and get LJ ready for karate. I also have my church ladies meeting/get together tonight...we're drawing for secret pals and I can't wait to see who I get!!!

Until tomorrow...or whenever!

It IS exhausting

Bleh. I just want to go to bed. WHY?!?! I wish I knew. I have NO energy and the best way to describe how I feel is "droopy." I feel bad for my family...I'm just kind of here.

The trip to the doctor was so-so. Check up was fine, but when I talked to her about the exhaustion, low drive, etc, and asked about hormones, she sent me over to have my B12 checked. Pretty sure that was checked not very long ago...but we'll see what they say.

I messed around town after the appointment because there was very little time until time to pick up the kids and hubby was in a meeting. When I got the kids we just came home and hung out until hubby finally decided we'd just run up town to grab a bite.

I love my kids and I would not trade them for anything and I would die before I let anything happen to them, but they make me plum crazy. The fight like cats and dogs from the time they first see each other to the time they go to bed. LJ used to be real bad about constantly needing a drink, a snack, another drink, etc, etc, lol! But as he's getting older he's getting more independent. E on the other hand does things LJ NEVER did. She destroys everything she sees. If it is possible to break, she will break it. She doesn't play with toys VERY often, when she goes to her room and gets quiet it means she has climbed up and gotten into something she's not supposed to have and made a huge mess with whatever it is. Whew...okay...glad I got that out. I know it's just a struggle that comes with parent hood...but I'm exhausted.

I was thinking about what kind of literature I need to dive into...besides the Word of course, and I looked at all these books I've bought in the past few years with good intentions. Books about being a mother, books about being a good wife, books about being a step mother, books about being a children's minister, books about organizing your home, books about not losing your temper, books about cooking healthy, books about EVERYTHING. I think I'm scared to read them. I'm already exhausted. If I read all of that and crammed all of that knowledge into my brain I'd be done for. Stick a fork in me...I'd be done. How exhausting would that be?!?!

Until tomorrow!

Figuring things out

I'm proud to report today was a pretty "normal" day. Hubby was back in OKC today so it was just me and the kiddos. LJ got more for breakfast today than a honey bun and the lunch I sent with him was big and nutritious...yay!!!

I spent the afternoon working on church paperwork and planning out our next few memory verses.

We had several more kiddos in class tonight and they were all so excited to start memorizing their verses. I have promised them an ice cream party at the end of the month if they all get all four verses memorized. If it goes over well, we may have to do it next month too!

I'm getting a little nervous...I'm going to the OB tomorrow. I'm hoping to get the ball rolling on figuring out why I have no energy, no desire to get out of bed, and...shhhh...very low sex drive. I've been on zoloft for several years now...off and on because of pregnancies, etc...because I'm just kind of weepy. Then, about a year ago I told my regular doctor about the lack of energy, etc. and he put me on wellbutrin. I was able to tell a difference in the energy level for a while, but then it slacked off. He did some blood work and told me I was low on vitamin D, which affects energy and I now take over the counter vitamins everyday. I was recently talking to a friend of mine who had experienced similar symtoms and she suggested having my testosterone checked. I didn't even realize women even needed that, but apparently it affects our body too and can really mess things up. I'm hoping my OB will do some blood work or something to help me get things figured out. I know I have the desire to do and be better, but then each day I just don't...it's like I'm stuck and can't get going.

I can't wait to see what she has to say, and I've got plans to some organizing tomorrow since hubby will be off. Until tomorrow!

No complaining

Today I feel as though as I'm failing miserably at what my goal was to make of myself. I keep telling myself God's plans are better than mine and all of my faith is in Him, but I think He surely wants me to be all that I can be...and I feel like I'm just not measuring up. Nothing is going as planned...but I'm going with the flow.

LJ woke up around 1:30 am last night crying with his ear hurting. No fever...just an ear ache. I gave him ibuprophen but the poor baby kept asking when it would stop hurting...so around 2:30 I gave him a half of a melatonin to help him rest. So I was exhausted when it was time to wake up. I pushed snooze I have no idea how many times and before I finally got him up. He got into the shower, no problem, but then when he was getting dressed he told me his throat was hurting too. I took that opportunity to put him back to bed and crawl back in too. Both kids and I slept another 3 hours before we finally got up and got ready to go into town to drop E off at MDO and head to the doctor's office. My poor boy tested positive for strep, has a sinus infection and an ear infection. After the doctor it was time to go back and pick E up. I had so much I needed and wanted to do...but it is near impossible to take care of business with both kiddos in tow.

We came home and I let the kids destroy the living room while I sat on the web hunting down some new recipes.

Miss E had dance tonight, but after that I FINALLY got to go to the grocery store, which has been on my to do list since the weekend. Now...I'm finally unwinding (way later than I want) and making my plans for tomorrow. We shall see what happens...

I complained a little to hubby tonight about how things just weren't going my way and how much I still had left to do before I go to bed, but then I got to thinking about it...my goal of being a better me didn't include talking about how much I do or need to do or don't want to do. It didn't include complaining about any of it. What I want and need is a better attitude to deal with the things that get thrown my way. When I take on the attitude I've had today it only makes me weak and a target for satan. I want to sign off tonight with some lyrics from one my favorite songs right now by Plumb.
Until tomorrow...

Well everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got ta wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
'Cause oh I get so tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this?"
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh, I need you
God, I need you now.

Learning Experience

It is very, very late, so tonight's post will be short. But here are some things I'm learning as I focus on my goals.

1. I want the house tidy, clothes laid out, and lunches packed before bed.

2. It's okay to have a play day with E ever now and then...as long as the above gets done.

3. It is near impossible to sit in the lobby at the gym for an hour with E as LJ does Karate.

4. Moods are contagious, bad mood trumps good mood.

As I ready myself for sleep, I am satisfied with the house, the kids' things are ready to go, and I'm in a good mood. Lol. Tomorrow is another big day for my hopes and goals as E heads back to MDO...can't wait to see what all I'm able to accomplish!

Nice things

Well, I'd have to say today was a pretty great day. I got up before anyone else...which is what needs to happen. Don't you think? Mama needs to get ready first so that she can get everyone else ready, right? So, we all got ready and headed to church. I am a little disappointed that I obviously just can NOT have a nice pair of sunglasses. I really like the sunglasses from Montana West. They are not hundred dollar sunglasses, but their not dollar store sunglasses. The first pair I had E picked up one night and pulled on both ear pieces as hard as she could until they snapped. Ugh! So, my kind hubby bought me an even prettier pair for Christmas. They of course have bling, but these had beautiful turquoise pieces on them...we get into the car, I grab my shades, and one of my turquoise jewels is gone! Guess I'll go to the dollar store and quit trying to be glamorous! Hahaha! Anyway, it always seems like no matter how early (or late) or we are for church I feel rushed to get everything done by the time praise and worship starts. Whether it's making copies, writing checks, handing out mail, or getting snacks ready, I'm sweating by the time I sit down. Today, I ended up in the nursery finishing up my paperwork and totally missed praise and worship. Thank goodness for a great sound system!

Then came my joy.

Have I mentioned how much I love my kiddos in the children's ministry? Oh! They are precious babies! Today we talked about how much Jesus taught, healed, and saved people when he walked the earth. I love the looks on their faces when they really start getting it. Today, I listened as my own son told me what it meant to be baptised. Oh my goodness...I'm doing something right...no, I take that back, God is doing something right through me! Praise God!

After church we headed to hubby's hometown to celebrate his grandmother's 95th birthday! He comes from a huge family and they all love Grandma Opal! I did have one ugly episode while we were there. From the moment we walked in hubby was visiting with the men folk which left me to tend to the kiddos. I was fine with that...until time to fix plates. There was so much food, we had two lines to walk through, and I had three plates in my hands and two kids under my heels. We made it all the to the end of the second line when BAM...Landon's plate slid off the edge of the table where I had sat it to load him up with some pickles. He looked at me fearfully thinking it was his fault, which it wasn't and my temper flared...hubby was half way across the room and I said (yelled...just a little), "Hey Alan! Do you think you could maybe, possibly, help me just a little?!?!" Then I swallowed my tongue...oops! Hehe! Got his attention though and he was more than willing to help the rest of the time we were there. And guess what...when we got to the table I had ONE thing, out of two lines of food, on my plate. Man...I needed a breather.

Put it into perspective.

Along came MIL, who I LOVE visiting with. Now this grandmother is her mother and at 95 years of age she could out run me. I promise. And she is so funny! But after suffering some falls and some other health issues and hospitalizations she has been placed in a care center. Ever now and then grandma can come up with some stories, we think she likes the attention, but other times, she really does think what she says is true, but what is so weird and I will never understand unless I make it 95, is she later realizes when she says something totally wrong. Like thinking her husband, who passed years ago, is alive, and then hours later saying, "I can't believe I said that, I know he's gone." It's amazing how the mind works, but even more amazing how the mind works after 95 years. We took tons and tons of pictures today, and I think I'll try for the first time I'll try to upload an image tonight, but the sweetest thing...after the party was over and everyone was starting to fade out, Grandma Opal said, "See y'all here again next year!" Love it!



Getting ready.

Welp, the kiddos were in bed earlier tonight than they have all year...hahaha...and the backpack is ready, clothes laid out, lunch box packed. Tomorrow I will start anew. I intend on printing off my cool little organizational printables I've found on pinterest and seeing which ones of them will really help me, making my lists, and planning week. I can't wait to see how it goes. But I know that even my hopes fail, God's plans prevail!

Until tomorrow!

You're just a coyote...every dog has it's day

The kids and I hung out today while daddy did a coyote hunt, then we went to a cousin's birthday party. After the party we headed out to meet hubby at the place where they weighed in the coyotes. Not really a fun place for mamas and kiddos, but we missed our daddy. Then we loaded him and my brother in law up for dinner. Now that we're home and should be ready for bed the kids have reached their energy peak.

The title of tonight's blog is a little silly, but I thought it was really funny tonight after the coyote hunt, we're eating at Applebee's and they are playing red dirt music and that song came on. Hahaha...so many little coyotes had their day today.

Okay, so anyway, I'm really kinda dreading Monday. That means it's time for us to get back to reality. LJ goes back to school and karate on Monday and E goes back to Mother's Day Out and dance on Tuesday. I'm losing my excuse for not getting anything done now. Time to get the Christmas tree down, grocery shopping done, and I'm also hoping on Tuesdays and Thursdays to head on over to my mama's and work on upkeep. Bless her heart, her plate is full. She works 8-5, then runs errands for my grandmother who is in an assisted living home, usually has meds to pick up at the pharmacy for my dad, then when she goes home she has dinner to deal with and whatever my dad may throw at her from his (own) business. By about 9pm she's finally done, but then it's time to get ready for the next day and she's pooped. I'm hoping to help her out this year. I've been promising this to her for many years, but I'm praying this is the one. I say Tuesdays and Thursdays because those are the days E goes to Mothers Day Out. But those are the days I also need to focus on things of my own that I can't do when she's around, like Scentsy business, grocery shopping, and folding laundry. One good thing about my husband having such an odd schedule is that there will always be at least one week day that he is off work and she can hang out with him.

I am however looking forward to church in the morning, so I better go lay some clothes out and get some sleep...until tomorrow...

Not a complete failure

The headache got the best of me. I took my headache medicine last night before bed...which was way too late to be taking it, so I ended up sleeping until mid afternoon...I know...horrible. So I felt guilty and knew I had to make the best of what was left of the day. It took me a while to get going, but I cleaned the living room, started laundry, cleaned the kids room, cooked supper, cleaned my room, folded and put away laundry...yeah...that all sounds great, but it didn't happen in that order and it did NOT happen that easy.

I sat on my butt until it was nearly time for Ashlyn to go home. One thing you must know about Ashlyn  is she was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago and if she doesn't take her pills in the morning, it only takes a few hours to see the difference, so by mid afternoon she was more than my nerves could handle and hubby had to be gone for a few hours. Wow...her and LJ were feeding off each other's energy, so I decided it would be best if I buried myself in a TV show with E. Anyway, I finally got up and picked up the toys, shoes and blankets that cluttered the living room (LJ took his toys to his room), and I started the laundry. Since hubby went coyote hunting after dropping her off, cooking supper was not one of my priorities, so it turned out to be a Hamburger Helper and green bean kinda night. I felt a little guilty since it's actually been quite a while since I've COOKED, but when the kids and I sat down to eat I was quickly rewarded when they both cleaned their plates and LJ said it was his favorite! WHEN I was cooking was fun (sarcasm), I had unloaded the dishwasher and was then rinsing what was in the sink to reload it when along came E. She always likes to help, but then brother bear wanted to help and the two of them proceeded to make a HUGE mess with soapy water, so I yelled. I hated it, but I lost it. There I was, trying to cook, trying to clean, and a new mess was being created at the same time. Ugh. So I told them to find something else to do, LJ immediately grabbed up his iPod, this bugged me since his room looked like a tornado had hit it and Ashlyn never offered to help, so I told him no games until the room was clean. Well this was not totally fair since he had so much help destroying it over the last few days. He ran to his room crying and continued to cry until supper was ready. Feeling horrible, I told him to stop worrying and that I would help him and that I was so sorry for yelling and then we talked about why I got so mad. After supper we clean his and his sister's room and got pj's on and played for a while. Then I cleaned the other rooms and folded the laundry when hubby got home.

I didn't have my shake today, I haven't worked out, though I do plan to before I go to bed. I yelled at my kids, I have barely seen my husband today, but I made up with my kids and I plan to spend the next few hours cuddling with my hubby. Tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to make the best of it.

I also realized I had been forgetting to talk about what we're praying for each day. Let me catch up. The first day we were praying for my sister. She took her state cosmotology board the next day. The second day I found out on facebook that one of my good friends from high school had lost his mother. The third day my best friend was headed back to work after Christmas break. Today I'm going to be selfish and pray for myself and these goals of mine.

Quality Family Time

Today we took a mini, one day, vacation. We wanted to go to Bricktown before Christmas to enjoy all the activities they had downtown for the kids, but when Ella was diagnosed with pneumonia we knew we had to keep her home and resting until she was well. Since the kids start back to school on Monday and hubby was off today we took advantage of it all. We did the Snow Tubing at Bricktown Ballpark, walked down by the canal, ate at Zio's (my favorite place EVER), took pictures by the beautiful decor they had out at the Devon Tower, then took the kids to Penn Square to Build-A-Bear Workshop. E tried very hard to drive me crazy again (maybe one day she will like to shop), but I must say we all had a BLAST. There were no melt downs, no arguements, and everyone made it back with all of their nerves still entact.

I did my workout and had my shake again, so that was good, but Zio's kind of counteracted anything I may have accomplished. I have been dealing with a horrible headache since last night but I'm not letting it keep me down...usually I would use that as an excuse to stay in bed as long as Alan is off.

I'm throwing ideas around in my head about what all I need to be planning ahead so that I'm not putting things off until the last minute like it seems like I've done the last SEVERAL months. I know we have a birthday party or two to attend this weekend, and one the next, so we've got to get some good gift ideas going (The ones for this weekend are already taken care of). Then I'm thinking about February. February is a crazy month for us, Ash, my dad, Alan, and I all celebrate our birthdays during the month. I'm thinking one HUGE outting with both sides of family. Can't decide on a cake, and can't decide if we need decor...I LOVE going to Scraptopia and making cute things with paper for the little ones' parties, but I'm thinking us grown ups don't really need it. Then...I'm also thinking I really want to do DIY Valentines for LJ's Pre-K class and E's class at Mother's Day Out.

Well, today's blog was pretty short, but I'm really ready for bed!

Beginnings are hard...

Oh my gosh! What a day! I'm blogging now, but should be putting my children to bed and putting toys away, but I'm pooped. At least I can admit that I know what I should be doing...that's the first step right?

This was NOT a good first day to try to be a good, happy, "perfect" person. I did get up, work out, shower, put on something besides yoga pants and a sweatshirt, fixed my hair, instead of putting on a hat, and actually wore makeup! I started back on my Body By Vi shakes and the kids even wanted one this morning! I had a gift card for Stage that was burning a hole in my pocket and I needed to get a new day planner, so I thought the kids and I could run around town. BAD IDEA!!! E was horrible!! We went to Staples first and she kept trying to climb out of the basket...I could hardly look to make sure I was getting a planner I would be satisfied with. Then we went to the department store. I don't buy many clothes for myself, so I told the kids we were going to find them some stuff. She was ALL over the place! I tried yelling at her, I tried threatening her, I tried taking her to the bathroom and spanking her (don't judge me), I tried getting on her level and speaking slowly, NOTHING got through to her. I was so frustrated by the time we got the checkout. Thank goodness LJ decided he was going to have a good day because he was actually a lot of help with the little she devil. I don't know what I'm going to with her. When she's sweet she's so sweet, but when she's bad...she's horrid! The whole time I was wanting to pull every strand of hair out of my head I kept thinking...I need to keep my cool...I don't want the first few days of my blog to talk about what a horrible mother I am because I ripped my child's head off. So when we got in the car I turned on the radio. KLOVE is doing a 30 day challenge to listen to nothing but Christian music for 30 days, so I sign up for that, blasted the radio and took SEVERAL deep breaths and calmed down. We picked up Ash today and I knew she would help too and soon my stress level would fall back down. We got home and hubby was off and plans were made for E to stay home with him while we went to church. Thank goodness for church...it was just what I needed after an afternoon like we had. My Wednesday night children's class needed to start new curriculum tonight and I had chosen to start working on memory verses. I only had LJ and one other kiddo tonight so it was good to be able to work one on one with them learning John 3:16 and exactly what it means. LJ amazes me everyday with his memory and wisdom...he is too smart for his own good! He picked it up pretty quick and was marching around the room reciting the ever so famous verse while I worked with the other little one. She struggled for a long time and was trying so very hard, but everything that I had been frustrated about melted away when she finally said the final word of that verse all by herself and smiled great big at me and we both shouted "You {I} did it!!!" I was so proud and happy for her that I decided THAT was what mattered about today...not that my youngest child knocked all the purses off the shelf so she could lay on it...that stuff is petty...that stuff is stuff...that's all...learning and teaching the gospel and preparing ourselves for the Kingdom of Heaven is what matters....it's eternal. I love it, I'm sitting here, still with a pounding headache, watching E dump out her toy box and dodging RC helecopters but smiling because I've put today in perspective, it started out rough, but was redeemed through the small voice of child. Now I think I will put on those yoga pants and sweatshirt, pull my hair back, pick up the toys, turn out the lights and hug my babies and my hubby. Oh yeah, guess I will change all the sheets on all the beds since they all had accidents last night...ugh. LOL!

Getting Started

Okay...well, here goes! I'm so excited about starting this blog. It's something I've thought about for several months now, but just kept going, "what would I blog about?" I was laying in bed and thought..."okay, I'm going to do it and this is how I'm going to do it, and why I'm going to do it..." and I got real excited about it and jumped out of bed and fired up the laptop (brand new one for Christmas...thanks mom!) So here I am...nearly 2am, typing away with ideas bouncing around in my head.

First off, I want to explain the title of this blog. The Clear Message. It is in reference to the great Michael Jackson song, "Man In The Mirror."  (No message could have been any clearer). Listen to the song when you get a chance...that's how I've been feeling for a while now. My kids and I sing it in the car all the time from the Joyful Noise soundtrack and I often make reference to it on my facebook page...I just love the lyrics! Anyway. That's where the name came from.

Second, I should explain what the blog will be about. Of course it's a new year and so many people make resolutions. I've never really gotten into that...not that I have a problem with committment, but I just think life throws us so many curve balls, why stick to ONE resolution, when you can make a new one everyday! This year, I guess because I'm getting older, I thought maybe I should sit down and not really make a resolution, but just set some goals for the year. I didn't write these goals down, I just expressed them to my friends and then to the hubby. As I was talking about it all with him tonight I started getting a little overwhelmed. That's when my wheels started turning. I've been wanting to write, or journal, or blog anyway, so why not take the opportunity to share this journey through 2013 with a blog?!? I can set my goals, share my experiences with friends, and maybe if I feel like even just one person is reading this it would feel sorta like I was being held accountable. I can talk about good times, bad times, and set new goals and hopefully get a little feedback. I think it's going to be fun! I'm a little nervous too!

So, I guess this is how I will do this. I will set out some goals, and then daily, I hope, write about that day and figure out if I'm moving in the right direction. So...here are some of the goals I talked about tonight with my hubby. These are qualities that I hope to master throughout the year. They affect the kind of wife, mother, daughter, teacher, and friend I hope to be.

1. I want to get my butt in gear! Ask any of my close friends and they'll tell you, I could sleep 24 hours a day if I could. I don't know why...I've always been that way. I just like my bed and my pillow! I'm not depressed, I'm not sick, I just like to sleep. So, ultimately I would LOVE to get up super early, COOK breakfast for my kids and husband (except those days he goes to work at 6am lol), shower, get dressed, put on make up, fix my hair and be ready to face my day by the time LJ goes to school. Think I can do it?

2. As a spin off of #1 I would like to get into a work out regimen. They say when you exercise you gain energy and that's what I need. I know a lot of people say they like working out in the morning the best, so maybe that needs to be added to my schedule before the whole cooking breakfast thing...

3. I want to be THAT mom. You know what I mean? The one who is so on top of things and brings the cutest little projects to the class parties. I want my children to be so proud to call me mom and just as happy as can be. I don't want to want to pull my hair out by the end of the day.

4. I want to be THAT wife. I want my husband to ADORE me. I want him to sit and think, "How does she do it? She's wonderful, and beautiful..." Okay, maybe I can't control what he thinks, but I can sure step it up in that department...ahem.

5. I want to be crafty. I have great ideas, I just don't know when, where or how I would ever get them done. I want to give crafty gifts, I want to have a space in my "office" where I can do things like that. I want to have time alotted to things like that.

6. I want to GIVE. I want to give money, I want to give time, I want to give cards, I want to give gifts. I don't want to sit back and say, "Oh, I should have sent them flowers..."

7. I want to keep my home organized and clean. When I clean I CLEAN, but it only lasts for about 3-4 days before it's totally out of control again and I have CLEAN again...it's the maintainance thing that I fall behind on...I'm just tired...ugh!

8. I want to be frugal. I've tried before and did okay, but I quit. I need to coupon, I need to shop for the best deal, I need to upcycle, I need to diy.

9. I want to stick to a devotional. When I took the position at the church I knew that I would miss out on alot of my women's class and devotional, so I bought the book they were starting and told myself I would do it at home...yeah...it's sitting on my dresser with dust on it.

10. I want to pray about a specific cause daily. Whether it be an individual person or just something weighing heavy on our hearts, I want my family to talk about that particular thing each day and pray together about it.

11. I want to have a weekly date night with my husband. Too often my find myself totally behind on what's going on in his world and covered up with what's going on in my or the kids. We need that alone time ever now and then....so I'll be looking for babysitters!

12. I want to be inspirational. There are two girls right now that I would call my inspiration. One is Rachel Miller, my pastor's wife and good friend. She just seems to always be so on top of things. I'm sure her life behind closed doors is just as crazy as anyone else's (she says it is), but you wouldn't know it to look at her. She's beautiful, she has a happy husband, happy, beautiful children, she's crafty, she gets stuff done, she's everywhere she needs to be on time, she throws the cutest baby showers, and she's always there for you when you need her. She's like superwoman. The other one is my Super Star Director, Allison Dalke. She blogged for an entire year last year and in reading that I felt like I got to know her as a friend. She probably couldn't pick me out of crowd, but she inspires me. I highly suggest you check out her blog too.

Okay, there ya have it. 12 goals. I separated them out into 12 thinking maybe I could work on one each month...not neccessarily in the order i listed them, but there, they're in type, they are stored forever in this blog, and people will read it, they will watch me, they will read about my days, they will hold me accountable, and hopefully lift me up when I get down. I sure hope nobody gets on here and pokes fun, bullys or makes fun...oh gosh, now I'm getting nervous. Nah...all is good, I will be praying about this blog and praying though it. I know that God has great plans for me, but I have to put in the work to be the best me I can be. Proverbs 31 will probably be mentioned alot in this blog and I intend on finding lots of other scripture to guide me through this too. If I do all of what I've mentioned I think my home will be a happy one, my business will be a successful one, and my legacy will be a lovely one...those are my hopes anyway!