Slacking

-Sorry! I'm slacking again...this whole week was a whole bunch of doing nothing! Monday-Thursday I did the bare minimum to get by. Hubby had a class in OKC all week and Landon wasn't feeling well, so we were just lazy at home! Thursday night I was informed my husband and two friends had planned a birthday party for me for the next night at our house (I'll be the dirty 30 on Monday). So Friday I did house work and got caught back up.

I wonder sometimes if we expect too much of ourselves and then others pick up on our high expectations for ourself and then they begin to believe we can conquer the world, or if it's the other way around. This is not just a woman thing either...men are that way too. As women we are to live up expectations of our husbands, sisters, mothers, aunts, grandmothers, friends, children, co-workers, bosses and teachers. Men have their wives, brothers, fathers, grandfathers, friends, children, co-workers, bosses and teachers to answer to. If we are not the perfect friend, mother, wife, husband, employee, etc. then it seems we've let someone down and have to explain ourselves. I want to be myself and not explain that. I want to be all that I can be and hopefully those around me will be happy. Just a random thought.

I have had more than one person this week get upset with me because I was not where they wanted me to be when they wanted me to be there...not a responsibility type thing...a leisure type thing...well, I apologize, but my priorities are my husband, children and household. If they are sick, upset, or need attention, that's where I'm going to be. I would hope that you could love me for being dedicated to my family, not expect an apology or explanation and certainly not be ugly to me. Here's something else about me...not very often (almost never) will you see me without one or both (sometimes all 3) of my children. I understand wanting to get away ever now and then...who doesn't...and I know my husband and I need more alone time...but I can NOT just drop my kiddos off on a whim and expect myself to have a good time knowing they are upset or wanting me. I don't have a 9-5 job, I work 24 hours a day and nobody wants a break any more than me, but when I go out to eat, or spend time with church ladies I either have my kids with me or my husband has them, and that last one happens very seldom due to his schedule. It's exhausting and I complain about it sometimes, but they are babies...they need me, and I need to be there for them. They depend on me more than any other human and that makes me feel pretty darn important.

Another random thought I've had this week is about people who starve for attention. We see kids like this all the time, but why do adults act like that? Why do they embellish everything that comes out of their mouth so that we will listen to them?

Geez...I'm sounding really ugly tonight...I think it's time to go bed...just a little frustrated I guess. Everybody gets their grumpy day right? Here's my apology!

Until tomorrow!

Terra