Rambling

Gasp! I'm finally blogging again. Things have been weird. I've been weird. I guess I just need to admit to myself and everyone else that there is just going be a week out of every month that I'm going to be...not myself. "Duh!" says most women reading this, but wait...I have an IUD, and I don't have...ewww...periods. I have a day or two that I may spot a little bit, but that's about it. But even that really does something to me. I get insanely exhausted and have absolutely no motivation to do anything. I feel so guilty when I get that way. I WANT to get up and do something, but I just DON'T. I apolgize to my children and to my husband because I feel like a failure during this time, which in turn sends me into a tad bit of depression. I'm wondering if it's not time to get rid of the IUD. I'm sure that probably has something to do with the nasty headaches I get. Anyway, I had a few days like that this past week and first part of this week, then I got sick...yucky sick...thought I was dying sick! I went Sunday and got a prescription and I'm doing much better. I got my mojo back yesterday and caught my household back up today. I'm just so thankful it didn't last any longer. I looked back at my last post and I know my hatefulness was related to that and the fact that I was getting very sick. Sorry for venting!

Anyway, I celebrated my 30th birthday in bed, but it was much needed rest and I know that's what made me feel better.

I'm laying in bed typing tonight because this seems to be the place that all of my ideas pop into my head...you know...when I'm supposed to be SLEEPING. Alan used to tell me there was like a button in my head and when I laid it on the pillow I flipped my on switch and started talking...about everything. LOL! Anyway, the last two nights I've found it hard to sleep, and not just because I've slept all day! I lay down and I realize just how much is going on from now until the end of the year. I know that time goes by faster the older we get, and this is going to be the fastest year ever! Starting in March, we have our spring break trip with friends that is much needed, Landon's birthday party, Easter, beginning soccer practice, beginning t-ball practice, then soccer games, t-ball games, summer fun...much welcomed, selling our house, closing on our land, moving, adjusting to a temporary home, breaking ground, building a house, Ella's birthday party, a new baby in the family, Thanksgiving, Christmas, moving into our new home...oh, my goodness!!! Then add in all the usual duties and activities. I'm going to need to stay in the Word, in prayer, and have lots of support from friends and family. I know this is LIFE, but when you lay it all out there it just sure sounds like alot. I  think about all those things and think about how weak I am, but at the same time I remind myself who is strong, who can handle it all, who tells me I don't have to do it all alone, well...my husband, yes, but even stronger than him...my Lord. Knowing that he will take those burdens and give me the strength I need to get through makes me smile. I know His way is perfect and even when I think things are going wrong, as long as I give it all to him, his will shall be done. He makes all things good. If I can keep that perspective I'll survive. I was hoping to lose some weight before summer...maybe the stress will take it off of me!

Well, I think that's enough rambling for tonight. I've gotten caught up and if I stay up much later I will get behind tomorrow.

Terra